Rom-Coms: How Romantic Comedies Have Increased Our Love Expectations in Relationships?

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psychology of romantic comedies

Romantic Comedies

Every relationship is important in life but with love and relationships, it is always depicted that a man has to win someone’s affection. It is true to some extent as this relationship grows stronger only when the wavelength of both the people matches up to their expectations. Whether one is intentionally aware of it or not, but most of the rom-coms and romances in television and film have some elements of fantasy. Though fantasy isn’t a bad thing; some of the most popular films especially the old movies are set against such a background. But in the majority of the cases of the rom-coms, it creates fake concepts of love, relationships, and marriage.
Think of the romantic film 50 First Dates, where Henry (Adam Sandler) basically, has to win over the woman he loves, Lucy (Drew Barrymore), every day they spend time together due to Lucy’s unusual medical condition.
Such films demonstrate that there always occurs a problem where the involvement leads to such extremes, rather than the normal conditions.


Relationship Tips for Couples

But in real life, the love and relationship are totally different said by clinical psychologist Reid Daitzman. It is said by him that a real relationship is one where one helps the other person in day to day activities of life like- take out the garbage, pay the bills and talk about the kids, etc.
It is true that all the things that one has to do are really boring. Which people don’t realize. This one realizes when one finds that they don’t have the partner for the support and they really miss it, this is real love. One who just had an affair rarely misses his wife and would love to be back with her talking about unimportant things.


Strong Relation Tips

There is a strong dissimilarity between love and marriage, love is denoted as a fun, improvisational experience, while marriage is where love disperses in the air. If we talk about Steve Carell and Julianne Moore’s marriage, it has grown stale and unsexy compared to the newly flirty couples around them, not bound into marriage yet.
It is observed that Marriage has always been portrayed as the downside of weddings. A beautiful understanding of marriage and wedding has been written by Lois Smith Brady, in the New York Times’ Vows column that “Weddings are glamorous and usually involve weight loss; marriage is dull and involves weight gain. Every bride and bridegroom is beautiful; every husband and wife is exhausted. At a wedding everything is new. And later it becomes, is anything new?”
A chronic formula to maintain strong love relationships in order to avoid the “dullness” of marriage is to have a wedding scene at the end of a film — and this should be done very often in life. In Runaway Bride, Ike (Richard Gere) and Maggie (Julia Roberts) they fall in love in a week’s time. This is an overgeneralization of how relationships work in real life.

But for one it is always to know if these relationships watched in films or television have actual influence in real relationships.

With respect to the studies carried out by a team of psychologists at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh, Scotland, said that fans of rom-com films like-You’ve Got Mail and The Wedding Planner” fail to communicate to their partners effectively, but people hold the view point that if someone is meant to love one, then they should know what is wanted without telling the one’s requirement.
This is very well explained in the film Don Jon, where the so-called character Jon (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) believes his girlfriend for most of the movie, Barbara (Scarlett Johansson), has unrealistic expectations for relationships because she herself watches too many romantic movies. While Jon is quite the opposite — he has an addiction to porn — they both set impractical thinking for what they expect from one another at the offset. The film went well because it undertook this concept face-to-face. “As Gordon-Levitt’s movie takes great pains to illustrate, what we represent as perfection often proves to be a misleading illusion written by Randy Myers for the San Jose Mercury News.

However, there have been occasional films too, where the romance representation is very close to realistic grounds. Most popular is, 500 Days of Summer, it taught two valuable lessons: the first lesson what one gets is that the feelings of love aren’t reciprocated, no matter how long does one want to maintain the relationship. The second thing one finds that one feels the love even when least expected. In the case of Tom (Gordon-Levitt, again), he found his love at a job interview (with a woman fittingly named Autumn).

Generally, whatever people view in the films, it’s important for them to understand the relationship very closely and should be practical, especially for those who are in relationships, they should understand the necessary peculiarities between the love seen in films and the unrealistic expectations they create in real life. Rom-coms are good fun to watch, but the contrast between unreal and real should be clear in the viewers’ eyes.

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