Everyone sets for a healthy relationship and wants to be away from unhealthy relationship. Not only this much, even if things are not going smoothly according to the desired expectation still we try to cooperate at the optimum level. When our needs and those of our partner are met in a shared life we build together. Before any relationship one builds everything beautiful and decorates many of the dreams, but, for whatever motive, sometimes that doesn’t happen. Instead, what we considered was promising turns out to be toxic.
Kelly Campbell, PhD, associate professor of psychology and human development at California State University, San Bernardino did lots of research on this aspect and said a toxic relationship adversely impacts a person’s health and well-being because we spend so much of our time and energy on our romantic partner. These relationships leave a great impact our well-being. When they are running smoothly, we are very happy about it. But when they are unpleasant, our health and happiness will likely be negatively affected.
But, if the case has too much complicated and one believes their existence in a toxic relationship then it may be the right time to make some healthy adjustments.
Identification of Toxic Relationships
➢ Walking on thorns
If a person is unpredictable and could get upset at small – small things with no reason then the bearer becomes too much conscious and before speaking thinks many times, what to say, how to say it, and when to say it in order to avoid the harsh breaking of the words. Devoting too much of time in all kinds of emotions, money, and getting little in return. A healthy relationship should be from both the sides.
➢ Jealous Behavior
If one notices that the partner is jealous, competitive, and generally unhappy when you are doing well, then that’s a major understanding of the toxic relationship.
➢ Pulls You Back
When one’s partner tries to hold back for everything then a strong identification of a toxic relationship. In a healthy relationship partners celebrate each other’s success and transform each other into their perfect selves. If one notices that the partner is jealous, competitive, and generally unhappy when one is doing well, then this is nothing more than a hard toxicity.
➢ Lacks Independence
If partner tries to find out where you are at all times, calls or texts constantly while you are apart, goes through your phone or computer, manages and restricts the finances, or holds in other obsessive and controlling behaviors, the relationship is likely to be toxic.
Campbell says if someone finds themselves in a toxic relationship then they should consult a good therapist who can help one to cope up with it or get out of it.
Campbell says if one is trying to make changes then keep these five options in mind.
- Discuss with the partner about the unpleasantness and then go for counseling together. However, in spite of that if gets the necessary help and find the same problems being repeated over and over again, one should consider ending the relationship.
- Inform faithful family members and friends about the situation and also discuss the entire matter with them tending to leave. As you require a place to stay when you end the relationship and then these people in your social network would help you to step out of your emotional, financial and stressful life.
- One should save money to prepare for the eventual end of the relationship.
- If the partner has been violent and/or has threatened you, keep proceedings of every case and consider getting a preventive order against them. Then this would also help one to hand over the evidences to the concerned officers looking for the person’s violation. This is important for keeping the targeted person safe.
- After free from a toxic relationship draw boundaries and at first put yourself to happiness. One can start a new relationship from anywhere and can build a future where a healthy relationship is possible.
Tips to kick start to overcome toxic relationship
➢ Cut off communication with the toxic person
Continuous exchanges can sometimes take more time to cut off the toxic relationship, but, when the children are involved, it is impossible to cut off all communication altogether. In these cases, keep the communication direct and minimal. In due course of time, if both people heal and change their ways, a friendship may be possible. If not then right after a breakup, never try to be friends and definitely don’t engage in any flirting or sexual activity with the person.
➢ Take the time you need to heal
Spend time with pleasant people who build you up rather than rip you down. One can also spend time with animals as they are more trustworthy and provide a good model of unconditional love and helps to overcome loneliness. They can also get one to move out into nature and interacting with others.
➢ Pick up some hobbies
Hobbies not only motivate self-esteem, but they also provide a good place to meet new partners at the right time.
➢ Work on self
Before planning to get into a new relationship, work on self to come out of the past trauma of toxic relationships.
Eight Surprising Upsides of leaving your Toxic Relationship
Benefits of Getting Rid of Toxic Relationship 1 Rediscover Your Passion
Toxic relationships kill one’s enthusiasm. When one is in a difficult relationship, one only tries to focus on fixing which in fact is hopeless, instead of pursuing what one wants.
When one finally comes out of the toxic relationship then one rediscovers the favorite hobbies and passion projects, and one start working on their dreams.
Benefits of Getting Rid of Toxic Relationship 2 Reconnect With Family and Friends
Unhealthy relationships always end up in disconnecting with others. But when the relationship ends, one runs to family and friends and realize that they were truly waiting for you. They had been with you all along, so never take things for granted that the situation had worsened.
Benefits of Getting Rid of Toxic Relationship 3 Appreciate the Little Things Even More
If one is celebrating a treat from a colleague or a text message from best friend, one should find cherishing every moment of the day, rather with more enthusiasm what was previously reacted to. After one had spent such awful trauma comes to know now know what true gratitude means.
Benefits of Getting Rid of Toxic Relationship 4 Regain Mental and Physical Health
Toxic relationship mostly creates health issues. So, in the post-relationship self-care is very important on mental, physical, and spiritual health. Maybe one can head to the gym and eat more healthily. Perhaps one simply have to try enjoying, relaxing, chilling out etc. again.
Benefits of Getting Rid of Toxic Relationship 5 Enjoy New found Independence
Being in the toxic relationship you had observed your life lonely, but now you view it as independent. What’s more, you see your newfound independence as a sign of bravery, wholeness, strength, and wisdom. You revel in it because you no longer attach your happiness to someone else. You’re proud to be self-sufficient because it takes a lot to master the art of freeing yourself from others.
Benefits of Getting Rid of Toxic Relationship 6 Gain the Ability to Empathize With People Who Are Hurting
As being an experienced person one can very well understand the toxic relationship now, so, one can sincerely take care about the pain of others. One becomes more sensitive and empathetic. Very freely one can share the story in order to give people hope.
Benefits of Getting Rid of Toxic Relationship 7 Thrive More Fruitfully In the Career
One can realize that investing energy in work provides more rewards than any other person can help you out. A fulfilling career gives one the home and the life one wants and it doesn’t require that one depends on anyone else.
Therefore, one should prioritize the career aspirations over any potential love interests.
Benefits of Getting Rid of Toxic Relationship 8 Reinvent Self
One should try to find out new things as one can such that one can get new hair cut, try new heels, travel more often, cook complicated dishes, or enjoy risky adventures. Reinventing yourself is the best way to heal. Never fear with the experienced devastating life.
Life would appear to be difficult now, but the benefits one will take from the healing process will be worth than the struggle faced.
Always Things Happen For Good but We May Not Understand At That Particular Moment.
“Keep Moving…………… Don’t stop”